Raelyn Grace: A birth & adoption story

How can it already have been four weeks? I've written this post in my mind a hundred times. I've put off writing it wondering if I could do justice to this most precious day, the day our beautiful Raelyn entered the world and took over our hearts.

Mark and I had been ready and waiting for weeks. We were beginning to wonder if she would ever arrive. Although her due date was January 4th, we were all certain she would be a December baby. The end of 2009 arrived and we were proven wrong. Her due date also came and went. Still no baby. Each day seemed to pass so slowly.

I went with Kim, our birth mom, to her 40 week check-up on Wednesday, January 6th. The midwife hooked her up to monitors for a non stress test to track the baby's heart rate and Kim's contractions. It was wonderful to listen to her heartbeat for almost an hour. I felt such a strong connection with the baby as I sat there listening. Everything was normal so the midwife refused to discuss an induction. She said we needed to wait for another week. The local forecast showed a major snowstorm coming in the next day and we all joked that she would arrive in the middle of it. Nope.

Friday night we sat in the basement watching a movie and talked about becoming parents. We had stopped trying to guess when she would arrive. When we headed up to bed, I grabbed the house phone and took it with us. I had been sleeping with my cell phone next to my head for weeks but this was the first night I took the home phone to the bedroom.

At 5:01 am on Saturday the home phone rang. I sat straight up in bed and said, "This is it." I just knew. One, no one calls at at that hour. Two, no one really calls us on that phone. I answered, "Hello?" I heard, "Is this Stephanie? This is Katie from the agency. Kim is at the hospital. She's dilated to 7 so the baby could come soon. Try to get there as quickly as possible." I'm not sure that we've ever gotten ready and the car packed so quickly! On our way to Methodist we called our parents and siblings. We knew they wouldn't mind the early call with the news that our baby was on her way.

It was strange. We had dreamed of this moment for so long that it barely felt real. We arrived at the hospital, pulled in to the parking garage, and then floated to the information desk asking for directions to Labor & Delivery. The walk from the information desk to L&D seemed like it took forever! When we got off the elevator, we heard "Are you Stephanie? And you're Mark?" I'm sure we looked a bit confused as this young man we didn't know was talking to us. "I'm Kim's best friend. She asked me to wait for you guys to arrive." He walked us to the nurse's station where a nurse smiled and it seemed was expecting us. She explained that they were moving Kim into a delivery room and that the anesthesiologist would be giving her an epidural soon. She told us they would come and get us after the epidural and we could go into the room. So, off we went to the waiting area with Kim's best friend, Dale. We sat chatting with him about his landscaping business for what seemed forever. I went back to the nurse's station and the nurse said they had not forgotten us. There was a delay with the epidural. Apparently there were several women the anesthesiologist needed to see that morning. I rejoined Mark & Dale and we waited some more.
After several more minutes, we saw a different nurse poking her head around the corner. We stood and briskly walked toward her. She said, "Are you Mark & Stephanie?" "Yes." "Let me take you to Kim's room, the baby is here!" Mark and I looked at each other wondering what had just happened. How had the baby been born while we were just sitting out there waiting?

Raelyn Grace was born Saturday, January 9, 2010 at 5:53 am.

We walked into the room and it didn't matter. Kim was fine. The baby was perfect & healthy. Kim handed the baby to me and I whispered, "Hi Raelyn, I'm your mommy."

Everything after that is a blur. We watched as the nurses weighed her and gave her a bath.

We called our families. Mark changed her first diaper and I fed her the first bottle.

Kim told us about Raelyn's birth and the reason why we weren't in the room. She had to wait awhile for the anesthesiologist to get to her room. When he arrived, he was about to give her the epidural when she felt the baby coming. She stood up and Raelyn landed on the bed. As Kim was telling us the story, the nurse interjected "I've never seen anything like it in 13 years!"

We moved out of L&D and settled in with Kim and Raelyn. The three of us took turns holding Raelyn, feeding her, and changing her diapers. We laughed at our "modern family" as we were all texting friends and posting pictures of Raelyn on Facebook. We spent most of the day & evening at the hospital and left Kim and Raelyn late in the evening. It was strange to leave the hospital that evening without our new baby. All I could think about was getting back there the next morning. I couldn't get enough of Raelyn. I wanted to drink in every moment!

On Sunday the social worker & attorney met with Kim privately and she signed relinquishment papers. Then we met with the attorney and signed the necessary legal documents that would be filed at the courthouse the next day stating that we are responsible for Raelyn. When we returned to Kim's hospital room she had been crying but said to us, "Congratulations guys, you're officially parents." It was one of those moments when your heart beats up into your throat. It's so hard to celebrate when you are mourning for someone else. Especially someone whom you care about and who wants to celebrate your happiness. Love is a strange thing. We spent the remainder of the day much like we spent Saturday: taking turns holding, feeding, and changing Raelyn. Mark went home and I stayed the night at the hospital.

Monday we were scheduled to take Raelyn home. The pediatrician saw her early in the morning and determined her fit for release. Again, we were excited to be heading home to start a new journey with our little girl but we were also sad as we thought about Kim leaving the hospital by herself. The four of us have a bond that can never be broken. We talked that morning about our hopes & dreams for Raelyn, about our hopes & prayers for Kim. Kim told us over and over how she was so glad that we were the parents she chose for Raelyn. We all cried together. I don't think I'll ever be able to accurately explain the feelings we felt this day. How our hearts were filled with joy and sorrow at the same time. How we wish that we could somehow "save" Kim from her circumstances but instead she "saved" us from ours. Love is a funny thing. We thought that we were opening our hearts to one thing and instead God blessed us with so much more. We loaded Raelyn into her car seat and were released from the hospital around 1pm on a very cold & windy January 11th.

We went home filled with the joy & happiness only first time parents experience. We thought we were prepared but how could we have ever known this kind of amazing love was waiting.

Raelyn's story has only just begun. Our little girl is gonna do big things in this world.

Psalm 126:3 "The Lord had done great things for us, and we are filled with joy." (NIV)